We were grafted in, to a family with a Father so different from our own sinful selves.  At first, we speak a different language, have very different behavior patterns, and we certainly don’t look like Him. Over time, as we get to know Him and enjoy being a part of His family, our desires, language, behaviors all become like His.

However, one thing is true from the get-go, from before our conception: We were His from history past to history future, we are part of His family.  I believe this to be so with the orphan, too.  God has known.  Every need.  Every desire. The family into which they’ll be grafted.And so adoption is something very close to my heart.  And I know it’s close to the hearts of many who have adopted and who have yet to adopt. Like so many other things within this body of brothers and sisters, we all have different roles.  We (Blane and I) don’t believe the Lord will lead every family to adopt a child (or more).  I believe He is so “into” the details of our lives (because He is caring!) that He provides for orphans in ways that would blow our minds.

Take for example, the intercessors who prays before, during (need, concerns, hiccups, praises, etc.), and after for the adopting family and the orphan.  Or the prophet the Lord uses to speak to a couple about adoption.  Or the singer the Lord uses to nudge a heart toward it.  Or the teacher who teaches about it.  Or the nurse who cares to the sick orphan.  Or the caregivers of the orphan before he goes home. Or the adoption agency who makes it possible for the process to happen.  Or the social worker who serves a family in the process.  Or the generous giver that helps fund the adoption. I know I’m forgetting a vital person in the process.

My point is that we need each other.  We can’t do without even one person in the body of Christ.  I believe that in adoption, the same principle lies.  These families need us who are not currently called to adopt! The orphan needs us.

Right now, Blane and I have not been called to adopt ourselves.  The Lord has shown us that we have a different role in the lives of orphans.  And I’m okay with that–so long as we are staying right where He wants us.  At the gentlest whisper from Him, we’d do it–and I’d love it.

So today, I want to ask you, what is your gift? How can you serve a family going through the adoption process–serve the orphan? There are so many (needs and families and orphans!).

If you’re looking for a family to give generously to, or desire to use what the Lord has gifted you with to serve them in the adoption process, please read the McClure’s adoption journey.  They are just beginning, and I know they’ll be blessed by you.

I’ve put Sara’s button for her Etsy shop, Stiches by Sara up on my sidebar.  Every item purchased through her shop goes directly toward their adoption.  I’m not an affiliate, just a college friend.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that Ann Voskamp’s Jesse Tree Advent Celebration Book was out of print.  Well, I have great news!  Not only is it back in print, but Ann and her family are graciously offering it to each of our family’s as a gift this Christmas.

What a wonderful gift to give.

We put our Christmas tree and Jesus tree up last night and began our own celebration of Advent using the devotional.  I am so excited to incorporate this into our celebration of the birth of Jesus!

May the adoration of our Savior so present during this season be in our hearts year round!

I laughed watching this tonight and wanted to share it.  Isn’t she cute???

Tara’s glasses from kelly on Vimeo.

I’ve been terribly inconsistent with posting good posts/articles from around the web each week–forgive me!  I hope you’ll glean something from these this weekend.

The Amazing Grace of God – Watch until the end.  I promise you’ll at least be a little teary.

Baked Pumpkin Oatmeal – Being on the current pumpkin kick that I am, this will be tested in my kitchen soon, and I’ll revamp it to be a soaked recipe.

Al Mohler’s Thoughts on Yoga Part One and Two – I’ve begun doing p90x the way it’s recommended (instead of picking and choosing what I like ), but before doing any yoga (which I’ve never done before), Blane wanted me to read what Dr. Mohler had to say.  My conclusion: I’m not comfortable with anything that has the appearance or the association with evil (anything that is NOT of the Lord), so I’ll do pilates instead.

Five S.M.A.R.T. Choices to Protect Your Marriage on Facebook – I got off of FB months ago (my personal account) for several reasons, which is another post for another day.  But those of you on it, this is worth reading!

My thoughts have already been skipping ahead to the warming scents of Christmas foods and the music that begins playing in our home just after Thanksgiving.  It’s already time to be thinking ahead to the Christmas season!  It’s just around the corner and it’ll be here before we know it.  It might seem early to be writing about it, but I have some exciting resources to share with you that might help in your holiday planning.

A Meaningful Time

Christmas is usually a time of struggle for me.  First of all, I did not grow up celebrating the birth of Jesus.  Sure, we went to church on Christmas Eve, but the holiday was all about gift-giving.  I can recount several years of tears and sadness as my family totally missed the point.  It still grieves me.

Now, I also hate how it’s become such a commercialized holiday as I feel the tug to be greedy as Christmas lists are still asked of us.  Am I the only one that struggles with this? I don’t want our children to know Christmas as a time to rack up great gifts.  I want them to understand that it’s a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, and for them to understand why we can have such joy in the celebration.

We haven’t banned gift-giving, for we think it would rob particularly the grandparents of great joy.  It’s fun to give gifts, because truly “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Our children are still small so we haven’t yet incorporated our long-term plan/tradition of giving a large gift that the children will enjoy together.

Our Traditions

We are still a young family, so we are still developing traditions.  However, we have established a few and it only aides in the anticipation of the holiday!

We do an advent calendar throughout the month of December, read Christmas books throughout the month, listen to classical Christmas music (Best Carols 100 is on my husband’s Christmas list this year!), read the Christmas story on Christmas Day and celebrate with the yummy sweets in our house.  I had planned to make a birthday cake last year, but really, with all of the other sugary stuff, I didn’t think we needed any more!

I made my own ornaments a few years ago with the different names of Jesus on them.  Even though I came to our marriage with a huge box of Christmas ornaments my mom collected for me as I grew up, I have had the hardest time putting them on our tree. Again, I have felt like it takes away from the true meaning of the holiday.  There is something about seeing “Star of David”, “Lamb of God”, “Messiah,”  and others every single day that helps meditate on the wonderful gift of the life of Jesus!

I’ll share my Christmas menu (and recipes!) next month, but for now, here are a few links to recipes that we’ve incorporated:

Incredibly Yummy Eggnog – I double this recipe.   Need I say more???

Nourishing Fudge – This recipe can also be found in Nourishing Traditions, which is where I first came across it.

Butternut Squash Lasagna – come back tomorrow for the recipe!

The Best Chili Ever – as declared by my loving husband, who asked that this be our traditional Christmas dinner.

Helpful Resources

There are several resources that have helped me think more creatively in how to make this season a time of purpose and meaning in our home:

Treasuring God in Our Traditions by Noel Piper

I’ve really appreciated not only the practical ideas in the book, but the personal anecdotes Mrs. Piper describes!

Room for a Little One: A Christmas Tale by Martin Waddell

I would love to add a new Christmas book to our repetoire each year that is age appropriate.  This is perfect for very small children as it captures simply the concept of welcoming Jesus.  The illustrations are my favorite part!  I’ve not yet decided on a book for this year…any suggestions?

The Graham Family 12-Week Holiday Planner

This is new to me this year, and I’ve really enjoyed it!  Not only are there many practical ideas for planning, but with her many years of experience, Sheri Graham has wisely planned each week with ideas of what to accomplish so as not to end up with an overwhelming list of things to do at the last minute.  I started it a little late this year, but with a little bit of catch-up, it’s been so helpful! Sheri has graciously offered one of my readers a free copy of this ebook!  To enter, simply leave a comment below.  Entry for the giveaway will be open until 11:59 pm on Saturday, November 6th. Update: Giveaway has ended!

Willow Tree Nativity Set

This was a wedding gift to us (great idea!) and I’ve enjoyed putting this on display each year.  Now that we have kids, the lambs are missing legs and I find them in all sorts of fun places throughout the house.  Time to look into a kid-friendly one?

Two resources I’m sad that I can’t recommend for purchasing due to their unavailability this year, but that I wanted to share for future reference (I feel kinda cruel!) include:

The Noel Advent Calendar from Desiring God. This was a gift to us before we had children and it is probably my favorite tool for the holiday.  It is simple and extremely kid-friendly (good, since it’s for kids!) with burlap as the calendar background and velcro to affix the animals, people, and symbols.  A little laminated booklet (so obvious it was created by a mom!) comes with it that has a little story (a sentence) for what each animal, person, or symbol’s role is on that day.  I can’t wait to pull it out and am so sorry it’s not available this year!! And I’m sorry that my box is still in the attic so you can’t see what it looks like!

The Glorious Coming: A Jesse Tree Advent Celebration by Ann Voskamp

I was so sad lamenting recently when I learned that this too, is not being sold this year.  I knew I should have bought it last year!

Ann, like my new blogging friend Sara, have what I believe to be a gift from the Lord with their writing.

This year, I hope and am planning to incorporate a Jesse Tree into our advent celebration.  I first read about it over here on Lindsay’s blog.  What a fun way to get little hands involved and to plant seeds!  I would love to make the decorations together and as they are ready, to add them to the tree.  We’ll see how it goes. 

Ten Questions to Ask at a Christmas Gathering by Donald Whitney.  Because we entertain family members that we don’t see often and that don’t espouse to the same beliefs we do, these serve as great conversation starters and should the Holy Spirit allow it, provide opportunities to share more about our faith in Christ.

As our children grow, I want to continue to deepen our celebration of Christ’s birth.  For those of you with children three and older (Tara’s age), what do you do to make it meaningful?

I want to share this wonderful blog post by Sally Clarkson, titled, “Creating a Life Plan with Intentionality.” Hands down, Mrs. Clarkson is my favorite author on the subject of motherhood, thus far.  I reviewed her book,  The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child’s Heart for Eternity (look under the Gospel-Centered Parenting button to the right).  And last weekend I finished another wonderful book that she’s written, The Ministry of Motherhood: Following Christ’s Example in Reaching the Hearts of Our Children (blog post about it soon!).

Mrs. Clarkson captures part of my vision for this blog in her own post:

I have often said to women, the building of your home–your family, legacy, children, depends on how large your vision is. The greater the vision, the bigger the task and foundation laid, and the more prominent the house. We can build a legacy as big as a condo or as far reaching as an estate–it just depends on our vision of what God wants us to do and our dependence on Him to accomplish exceedingly above and beyond what we could ask or think.

Motherhood provides us with an opportunity to build in such a way as to influence generations–literally thousands–by the life we choose to live. But, building such a legacy comes with planning. An architect planning to build must prepare his blueprints. And so it is with women. Designing a blueprint for living will insure that I am better able to know what I am building; what the cost will be; what is needed; and how long it will take to build such a home.

I’m away right now (five minutes from home!) for a few hours, with the purpose of planning and setting goals, so her article was very timely for me.

I hope you’re encouraged and inspired as you read her post!

I’m excited for you to hear from Sara, of Every Bitter Thing is Sweet today!  It is a privilege to have her contributing, and if you take some time to peruse her own blog, you’ll quickly learn why I think so.  Not only does she have a passionate love for the Lord, but He has gifted her with writing for His glory.  I pray you’ll be encouraged and inspired anew in your pursuit of godliness and growth as a mother!

————————————————————————————————————————

One of the few highlights of our grueling cross-country drive to reach our new Midwestern home was the stint I had to myself in our little Honda. After my mind traced and re-traced my last minute to-do’s and made sure I’d mentally accounted for all the bags that needed to be with us (and not on the moving truck), reality sunk in. We were leaving so much more than 11 years of history in one of America’s most beautiful college towns.

We had friends there — the kind who would show up on your doorstep with a pot of soup when they heard your voice was hoarse on the phone. Men and women who walked beside us during some of life’s darkest hours. We had a handful of people who really knew us … and who let us really know them.

But as my mind danced around all that we were leaving, the prayer that first emerged for what was in store for us next was this: God, give me the gray hairs.

Over the two years of waiting to bring home our children from Ethiopia, a small army of women emerged around me. It takes two hands to count them. They were experienced moms, with wrinkles to show for it. I fondly called them (behind their backs of course J) the “gray hairs.” There were a few mothers of 6+ children and a few with less. Some comfortable in jumpers and others whose hand-me-downs were almost too trendy for me. Their common thread to me was that they carried the wisdom of God about parenting and He used each one of them to bring me an impartation.

For those of us whose mothers are a few states away and who didn’t absorb all they should have about the beautiful parts of their own upbringing (because they were too busy living it), He gives us surrogates for a time.

I developed a practice (unintentionally at first) of seeking out women who had a larger litter behind them. We wanted a big family, so I looked to learn from those doing the same. I eyed women in church, and in grocery stores, with their children beside them, happy and compliant – but with sparkles in their eyes. Children full of life, yet obedient. Clearly confident in their mamma’s love. Infused with Him.  And mother’s whose faces reflected this.

I unashamedly hunted them down. I met them for tea, babysat their children, joined them for dinner. I took advantage of any way I could to get a first-hand glimpse of the vision I was beginning to catch.

I watched Susan’s children one day each week while she taught a class at the home-school co-op. Her daughter Rebecca off-handedly remarked how her four year-old sister, newly adopted, took joy in emptying the upstairs trash each day. My vision was raised for what my children were capable of and they started similar tasks the next week. Lorena brought her 13 year-old daughter to my house to help me pack up my dishes for the move. She jumped in happily. Claire sat with me for many hours over tea and gave me a vision for joyfully obedient children. Then, when we joined her family for dinners, it was as if her life said “yes, Sara, it’s possible!” Joanna and her husband David hosted us for 18 weeks, every Sunday night, and reminded us that children can be held to a high standard within the safe place of love. Her twenty-something daughter all the way down to her six year-old son were living proof; all of them happy to just hang with their family, yet with hearts made for impact.

I could go on and on. What started with a dinner at the Finley home where six children who were of the age to be doing any number of things, crowded around their dinner table and enthusiastically asked us questions about our lives, slowly morphed into a dream for my own family.

God gave me a picture through these women above (and more I don’t have room to mention – including my own mother) that He gives us everything we need, as parents, to raise up children who love Him and love one another. At two, and at twenty-two.

And He reminded me through these women that He picks us up off the floor when we’ve failed miserably (which happens often in my home) and whispers in our ears my mercies are new every morning.

My gray-haired support team didn’t boast perfection, they led me to the Father. The best Parent. He has given me all I need to raise my children in His word and through the gentle touch of the Holy Spirit. The best parenting book I ever read was full of scripture. The Father knows best. But, as with many other things, we have a great gift in the body of believers around us. And this gift has profoundly impacted my parenting.

The ironic thing about all of this is that, as I prayed for those “gray hairs” on my drive to Missouri, I sensed the Lord saying that this season was over. While I will always be a pupil, my lab-work has supplanted my in-class learning. Isn’t that just like God? He pampered me for a period of time with in-the-flesh teachers so He could push me out of the nest. Flying solo this time, but not alone.

The point of this post is to encourage you to ask Him to show you them. Ask Him for the gray hairs. If it’s the season for you to have them, they are a gift. We weren’t meant to mother in a silo. And while I appreciate having peers alongside me, there is something to be said for those who have gone before. Women in their forties, fifties, sixties and seventies who have fruit to show for their labor are worth much more than the cost of the tea you treat them to when you ask them how they did it.

While God can impart vision without using a soul, He created us for relationship. And the vision He has given me for being a mom was birthed in the homes of many others before it was imparted to me.

Sara and her husband, Nate, have two children–Eden and Caleb–and are in the process of adopting two more from Uganda. Sara writes regularly at Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet on their adoptions, the Father’s love, prayer, perseverance through pain, and everyday life-as-a-mom anecdotes.

Ladies, if you have not popped over to Raising Homemakers yet, you must!  You will be encouraged and inspired beyond belief by these women who write about raising daughters to be homemakers.

Today, one of my favorite bloggers, Laura of 10 Million Miles,  contributed a vlog featuring her five year old daughter teaching other daughters how to make tuna salad.  If you want fresh inspiration and a few laughs, head over and watch it!

We’re about 1/4 of the way through our series, 12 Steps to a Nourishing Diet.  But, I have wanted to interject other posts in the midst there are things on my mind!  I’ve always done weekend reading, the best posts I’ve read during the week that I think you might enjoy, so I thought I’d continue through our series.  There are so many woman out there who have a heart for the Lord and encouraging other women  toward holiness, I hope you enjoy their writing!

Beautiful for Me – Tara and I watched this together.  While she’s too young to understand what the song is communicating, my heart longs for her to know it as she grows.  I cried through the song, I think in part because I wasn’t told this as I grew and Blane was the one to help me really understand how the Lord sees me.

A Good Friend & A Giveaway for You – Wanted to share this because I love Sovereign Grace’s Bible-saturated music and thought you might be interested in winning another kid’s CD!

The Dangers of Bisphenol-A (BPA) – If you’ve not read about this yet, I urge you to do so!  Over the last three years or so, we’ve eliminated most plastic and replaced it with glass, stainless steel, aluminum foil, or BPA-free plastic.

As I consider the very important role of mothering that lies ahead of me today, I’m in tears.  In many ways, I feel so inadequate to complete this grand task of shepherding my children to the heart of God.

I know they’ll be fed and dressed.  I’ll be able to fold laundry and unload the dishwasher, and even get a workout in during nap-time. We’ll read at least 50 library books, do a craft, and learn all about the letter “E.”

But what has me quaking in my socks is the fear of not adequately teaching them about the Lord.  I want to speak of Christ in such a way that my children see His beauty and desire Him.  I want them to understand their need for Him, to see His immeasurable worth.  Do I speak in a manner that is gentle and kind?  Do I die to my own selfish interests?  Do I live in such a way that allows them to see Him as my treasure? Am I living out the gospel?

And as all of these thoughts overwhelm me and I cry out to God for wisdom and seek it in older women, I’m reminded that yes, I need to do my job.  I need to tell my children of the wonders of the Lord, to read the Bible to them, to instill the wonderful discipline of hiding His Word in our hearts.  To live in a manner that is worthy of my calling in Christ, before my kids.

But I hear a reminder, even stronger and more gently spoken:  “Kelly, only I can change their hearts.” And I cry more.  Because I want to have that control.  I want to change them now.  Not because I can’t take another day of selfish, disobedient, sinful behavior.  But because the souls of these children matter more to me than anything else on this earth (don’t hear me wrong, my husband is my first love on this earth).  And I don’t believe my children are yet saved.  Nor do I assume they will be because of the family into which they were born.

So my day has begun with the gentle, tender reminder that I am called to be faithful and to trust the Lord, not to save.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.  It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”

Proverbs 3:5-8