No, I did not have the privilege of interviewing Paul Tripp myself, but have really benefited from listening/watching the interview that Desiring God Ministries did recently.  I want to share the highlights with you (that applied to me in this season of life with small children) with the hope that it will edify you!

If you haven’t heard the “Tripp” name, I would highly recommend familiarizing yourself with it. Paul and Tedd Tripp (yep! brothers) have written wonderfully helpful books full of Godly wisdom on the topics of parenting and marriage.  Paul himself has written a total of 11 books to date.  He is a pastor at Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, PA.   He has been married for 38 years and has four grown children.  What I deeply appreciate about him is his desire is to unite the transforming power of Jesus to everyday life.  All of our life is worship, isn’t it?

Now, on to the interview.  Today, we’ll focus on the first half of the interview in which he speaks about parenting.  Tomorrow, we’ll cover the second half on marriage.  Stay tuned, because it was awesome!

A little biographical information about Paul Tripp to get us started…He  began by sharing that he came to Christ at eight years old, having grown up in a troubled home.  He described it as believing home, but one with much turmoil in which he was unsure of his father’s heart before the Lord.  His mother encouraged him to go to seminary and afterward he went to a small church in which he did a lot of counseling.  This later became the passion of his ministry.

When asked why he writes books, he responded that he feels it’s good stewardship of the gifts God has given him.  He wanted to write everyday life books so that people would see that “the Gospel is the world’s best diagnostic.”  He thought if he could place Jesus in the “middle of the mess”, he would be used of God to help people love Jesus more and have greater confidence in the Word of God.  That’s what he’s after.  To enhance people’s desire to find satisfaction in Jesus Christ.  The gospel is where he remains.  He says he does not have anything to offer, any wisdom of his own.  The gospel is what he comes back to again and again.

One of the questions asked led him to talk about what he believes godliness is and what the purpose of it is.  His response was,

“Jesus didn’t just die for my past or die for my future, but for my here and now.  It speaks into the harshest most difficult realities of the here and now.  Jesus has ALREADY given us everything we need for life and godliness.  What is godliness?  God-honoring choices, responses, actions, words for the specific place where God in His Sovreignty has placed me.  The godliness is not obstructed by reality, it’s given for reality.”

Some of his statements were profound.  I appreciate him making it a point to say that godliness is for the purpose of reality.  I’ve been accused of being too “practical.”  This saddened me, not only because of my pride, but because reality is, that  in our roles as wives and mothers, it is full of “the practical.”  We should worship in those practical things.  Doing the dishes, changing diapers, doing laundry again. These can and should be done in such a way so as to bring joy to the heart of God!

He went on to talk about our role to trust God for change in the hearts of our children.  This was most helpful to me!  While I might not be able to articulate it at the time, sometimes my actions and words have the motivation to bring about change behind them.

“A child needs firm, loving, discipline, authority, and grace.  We live in a world of authority, I need to image the authority of the Lord.  Grace is important.  There is a tendency for parents, in their appropriate concern for their children to ask the law to do what only grace can accomplish.  A parent by the enforcement of the law, by the tone of your voice, by the force of your personality, if you could change the heart of your child, Jesus never would have had to come!  My job is to act appropriately toward my child so that they will desire to transact with God, but I can’t do that transaction and I don’t know when the winds of the Spirit will blow.  I am free from saving change in my responsibility.  Godliness is my responsibility.  You can have the best woods, nails, tools.  Put them in the best field, and they will never build a house.  A carpenter will build the house.  I believe in God’s Truth, the power of Grace, the Wisdom of Scripture, the call to love and I will keep doing that everyday.  Not based on my track record, size of problem, based on His grace.”

A listener asked, “Should I ever withhold grace if I ever perceive that a child is taking advantage of me?”  He responded by saying that he is very thankful that Jesus doesn’t withhold grace from us and went on to say that he is aware of two kids of grace:

“First, relief and release.  “In mercy, I lift the person’s burden.”   But, then, there is one that is uncomfortable.  “I understand you need to face some of the consequences of your choices.  I’m not doing that punitively; because I’m mad at you or am going to s ting you.”  The model in Hebrews is that He disciplines us in order to produce a harvest of righteousness.  It is restorative.  We can’t, by the sting of the law, produce heart change.  That is a different gospel, it doesn’t work.”

Someone else sent a question asking his perspective about disicpline.  His response after referencing Proverbs 22:15,

“A young child is not fully able to understand the consequences of his foolishness.  Foolishness is dangerous because it’s God-denying….danger lurking in the heart of this child.  The foolishness of sin.  But, because he’s of limited experience, he doesn’t have the ability to grasp the ability of his foolishness.  The act of foolishness is met with a restrained, godly, careful painful response.  So that the child concludes, “When I do foolish things, bad things happen.  He begins to be concerned about the foolishness inside of him so that he will seek after wisdom he can only find in God.  To do heart-delivering discipline, you have to begin with your own heart.”

When asked by a listener what to do with guilt that he/she faces in parenting and also the joy that is lacking, his response was:

“God always uses broken instruments.”  (He still considers himself a bit of a mess, daily rescued by God’s grace.)  “He has this powerful ability to take flawed people and to use them as instruments of His grace.  He will never call you to a task that he will not enable you to do.  There is grace for all of those realities.  It’s better for a parent to say, “This is way beyond me, I need grace.”  You do what God’s called you to do, not because of your track record or the size of what you are facing, but because of God says He is and the promises of Christ. I get up in the morning not because I see fruit, but because I see He is faithful and believe His Word is true.  Every day is full of new challenges, the world is a broken place, these are sinner children, there is spiritual warfare.”

These were the highlights from the parenting section of the interview.  I don’t know about you, but sometimes, in the middle of it all, I need to be reminded of Truth.  This interview served to remind me of what the “main thing” is in my goal of parenting!  I’d encourage you to listen to the interview while doing some chores around the house if you can.  It’s worth your time!

We are in beautiful Charleston, SC enjoying a surprise vacation that I sprung on my family this week.  We’ve had fun at the beach, spending the better part of today on a pontoon boat with friends, and dare I say it–splurging and enjoying foods that we don’t regularly eat.  You only live once, right?

Yesterday morning I enjoyed a run in the historic downtown with my favorite little running companion.  If you’re a runner, do you know about the site Map My Run?  It’s fantastic for when you’re on trips.  I mapped out a route last night so I could just go this morning.  My little guy has been waking up long before everyone else, so to keep it quiet around here for Blane and Tara, we’ve been heading out to explore and today, to run.

On the pontoon boat, we enjoyed a delicious lunch, complete with fresh caught crab.  Here is my man-child devouring some.  Not how most of us enjoy them, but he doesn’t care!  Believe it or not, I do feed him. 

Anyway, here are some interesting posts I thought were worth passing on!  Have a wonderful weekend!

Parenting

9 Lessons on Parenting I’m Learning from Running – This caught my eye because I’m a runner.  It’s encouraging, even if you aren’t!

Focused Motherhood: Play Your Position – a simple reminder about our very important, irreplaceable role as a mother to our children.

Health & Nutrition

Babies, Salmonella, and Pesticides – Very interesting post from a woman whose baby is recovering from salmonella in the blood stream.   I want to be extra careful about shopping carts!

Dryer Sheets and why old socks are safer - An interesting post about how and why dryer sheets are not safe, pretty pointless, and a safe, easy alternative.  I like it!  You can also use about 1/3 c of vinegar in the rinse cycle to prevent static.

I read an excellent article yesterday entitled, “Joyful Parenting”.  It was just what I needed.

You see, I struggle with joy in my parenting.  Lately especially, I have been very aware of my lack of joy.  I find myself easily irritated over two and a half year old ways.  I see a strong temper  coming from my near ten month old.  I grow weary of the constant demands of my emotional and physical reserves.  I wonder if any of my efforts are ever going to reap fruit. I’m not a yeller, but can certainly be unkind with my words and my tone of voice.  I was convicted just a few days ago of being too harsh with my tone.

Parenting is hard!

Listen to how the author begins the article (emphasis mine):

“Joy is prominently placed in Paul’s list of the fruits of the Spirit, second only to love (Galatians 5:22-23).  If Christian homes are little outposts of the new Eden, green with the fruits of the Spirit, we should expect joy to be one of the main crops.  Joy should be the dominant tone of a Christian home.”

He goes on to describe all the reasons that it is hard to have joy while raising children.  Like I mentioned, parenting is not easy!  It helped me to hear someone else say (or describe in this case) that parenting is not an easy task.   If you read the article, he has paragraphs describing difficult aspects of parenthood.  I chuckled and wanted to say out loud, “Can I get an amen?”

He then says something that brought me so much encouragement.    It really set the tone for my day (emphasis mine):

“Joy in parenting is a gift of God.  It doesn’t come naturally.  It’s not the product of the flesh.  Wherever you find a joyful Mom, you can be sure you’re seeing the Spirit at work.”

Here is why it provided me so much encouragement: he acknowledges that joy is a gift and that it doesn’t come naturally.  Phew!  This helped me to remember that I need not feel defeated when I realize, again, that I am not naturally joyful.   Instead, he reminds me of the need to walk in the Spirit, because joy is a fruit of the Spirit working in my life.  I put the emphasis on the last sentence because I so appreciate it.  What an evidence of God’s grace in our lives!  I made a mental note to seek to encourage another mom when I see her walking in joy with her kids.  She is walking in the Spirit and He is at work in her life! How many moms could use encouragement?  This one does every day!!

Lately,  I have been working to pinpoint why I lack joy in my parenting.  My answer has come down to a lack of gratitude for what Christ has done on the cross for me.  Everything stems from and revolves around the gospel.  Well, the author lists this as the first thing to do in the fight for joy.

“So, what to do?  Confess your ingratitude to God, and then begin giving thanks, every day, for one of your children.  When you get through the list, start over, and keep praying for a different child every day until your resentment resolves into thanks.  And then you’ll want to keep giving thanks because you will have developed the habit of thankfulness.”

I have been seeking to cultivate a heart of gratitude.  It has been hard.  But, as I read this article, I was very aware of God’s grace to me!  I was reminded of the help I have in the Holy Spirit, which I have because of Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross in my place for my sin and because of the grace that drew me to Him.  That is deserving of gratitude!

I am digressing from the next point he makes after confessing ingratitude and cultivating gratitude!

Lastly, he encourages us to remember what joy is:

“Finally, look ahead.  Joy is eschatological.  Joy is anticipation.  Joy comes at the end of woe, as light follows darkness.  Jesus went to the cross for the joy that was set before Him.  Joy in children is also anticipatory.  Scripture often describes how the anguish of a laboring or barren woman opens into joy when a child is born (Psalm 113:9; Isaiah 54:1; John 16:21; Galatians 4:27).  In raising our children, we rejoice in looking forward to the fruit that the Lord promises to bring through our efforts.”

He mentions at the end that this doesn’t mean we trudge through 18+ years of parenting. No, we can experience joy now thanks to the Holy Spirit.  But, we can and will experience the fullness of joy in the future as well.

So mom, be encouraged!  Your job is not easy.  Rest in your Savior today and ask Him for help to walk in the Spirit.  And remember that you are not the only one who struggles!